There’s nothing more stressful than a strained relationship. Difficult situations tend to come and go, but the tensions we feel with people are like a dark cloud hovering overhead. Though we long to be free of these emotions, we may not know how to remedy the situation. Thankfully, the Bible gives us the solution. Jesus told His disciples, “I am giving you a new commandment, that you love one another; just as I have loved you” (John 13:34). It sounds simple, yet it’s far from easy. But remember, if God gives us a command, He also provides whatever we need to obey it.
In the context of John 13, the phrase “love one another” refers to relationships among believers in the church, but loving the way Jesus does benefits all our relationships by encouraging harmony, forgiveness, and peace. Since the meaning of love has been diluted in our culture to include reactions to everything from God to chocolate, it’s important that we understand the biblical definition. So let’s look at four aspects of Christlike love.
Its Character
We usually think of love as feelings of affection, but in the Bible, the word refers more to an action of the will than an emotion. Although this kind of love may be accompanied or followed by affection, it’s mainly an other-centered direction of the will. And we see evidence of it by what actions we take—that is, when we choose to do what is best for the other person instead of looking out for our own interests.
Now, you’re probably thinking, There is no way I can love like that. That’s true. In our own strength, none of us is capable of loving people as Jesus does. Sacrificial, selfless, forgiving love doesn’t come naturally, but we have Someone who can help us.
Its Source
“God is love,” 1 John 4:16 tells us—note that it doesn’t say He’s sometimes loving, or that love is a part of who He is, but that He is love. This means it’s not something we can work up with self-effort. Only as we're united to the Father through faith in His Son does the Holy Spirit pour His love into the believer's heart (Rom. 5:5). And as He works in our heart, the fruit of love is produced in us (Gal. 5:22).
Sacrificial, selfless, forgiving love doesn’t come naturally, but we have Someone who can help us.
But even though God gives us the supernatural ability to love, we play a role in the process. We must practice loving one another and seek to excel at it even more by His grace (1 Thess. 4:9-10). We’ll never reach the point of perfect love for others, but we can become better at it as we let the Spirit work in and through us.
Its Standard
We’d like to think that loving other people is optional and dependent upon their treatment of us—in other words, they must deserve to be loved, and if they don’t, we’re off the hook. But that’s not what Jesus said. He clearly stated that we are to love others as He has loved us. Since we’re sinful, rebellious creatures, we certainly didn’t deserve His love. Yet God chose to love us even while we were His enemies. And to demonstrate, He sent His Son to die in our place, thereby bearing the punishment we deserved (Rom. 5:8). Jesus’ command to love one another has no excuse clause. We have a responsibility as God’s children to imitate Him and walk in love just as He did (Eph. 5:1-2).
Its Expression
Now that we know we’re required to love others, how are we to do it? There are three primary ways we emulate God and express His love toward others.
With Christlike Character. Love begins with a changed heart. We must cooperate with the Spirit’s transforming work and put on a heart of compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience (Col. 3:12). And isn’t this exactly what we need if we’re to love difficult people? Otherwise, all our expressions of love are rooted in hypocrisy because our hearts haven’t been softened.
We’ll never reach the point of perfect love for others, but we can become better at it as we let the Spirit work in and through us.
With Christlike Behavior. You’re probably familiar with 1 Corinthians 13, the famous “love chapter.” But have you considered what it requires of you? Love responds with patience and kindness toward exasperating, cantankerous, or mean-spirited people. It doesn’t behave jealously, proudly, or disgracefully, nor does it demand its own way and rights. Instead, it considers what’s good for others, and—perhaps the most difficult requirement of all—it’s not easily provoked to anger or exasperation and doesn’t hold grudges.
With Christlike Sacrifice. Since Jesus’ death on the cross was the supreme example of His love for us, we too must be willing to lay down our life for others (1 John 3:16). Although some Christians have literally died for fellow believers, our sacrifices are generally a matter of giving ourselves in service for others, spending precious time to help them, or simply denying ourselves and our desires in order to do what is best for someone else. To have Christ’s sacrificial attitude, we must selflessly consider others’ interests as more important than our own (Phil. 2:3-5).
Loving like Christ is a tall order, but we have a mighty God who is at work in us to make it possible. When we start to love people as God does, we help establish unity in the church, create harmony in our homes, and present a powerful witness in the world because our love for each other distinguishes us as Christ’s disciples (John 13:35).
Loving like Christ is a tall order, but we have a mighty God who is at work in us to make it possible.
Reflect
What keeps you from loving people as you should? Most of us try to lay the blame on others’ behavior or personality, but is that really where the issue is? The responsibility to love as Christ did rests with each of us.
Sometimes the problem is our perception of what love looks like. Do you think it means always being nice to people? That’s certainly not what we see in Jesus’ life. There were times when He loved people with correction and admonishment. (At one point, He even told Peter he was acting like the devil!) Love and truth go hand in hand. While Christ’s love was demanding, it was delivered with a gracious, humble spirit. And that is exactly how we should love as well.
Pray
Heavenly Father, thank You for demonstrating love by sending Your Son to save me. Knowing that love comes from You, I ask that You cause me to increase and abound in Christlike love for fellow believers and all others (1 Thess. 3:12). In Jesus’ name. Amen.
Meditate
- John 15:9-14
- 1 Corinthians 13:4-5
- Philippians 2:3-8
- Colossians 3:12-14
Practice
One of the reasons we fail to love others as we should is that we don’t prepare our heart beforehand. The best way to get ready for each day is by renewing our mind with God’s Word. Pay attention to passages that speak of His love for you and all that He’s done to enable you to care about others. Pray for a heart of compassion, kindness, and patience. Then throughout the day, ask the Lord to let His love flow through you to others.
